Madrama

My Christmas Presents          

 

Another year is ending as usual, yet unusually ending a bit nostalgically.

You see, every time a new year ends, I enthusiastically look forward to the new year that is to come.

Now, I can help but feel doubtful of the coming year.

I enjoyed the ending year so much that I keep on looking back and holding back to what now is the past.

The closing year is the best I’ve ever head since high school and I can’t stop myself from hugging it so closely to my memories. For God’s sake I can’t leave the past!

What a very pleasant year it was!

So now, I’m thanking all the people who’ve made the year special, those who made me feel life at its finest (for now.)

 

To:

The Great Ambivalent Poets,

            Thanks for the great year behind us. All the escapades to explore the world we never experienced during high school were the best!

 

The Noisy people by the photocopying station near the women’s C.R,

            Thanks for another year of service. May we stay strong amidst indifferences!

 

The Batch “masikan”

            Another year strong for our batch, another year stronger awaits!

 

The Free-Wi-Fi boys,

            9 months under one roof, more months still to come!

 

The Nike Bag from somewhere,

            The newest to my circle, thanks. May you always be generous and kind as you always are.

 

The Vans Bag for Shoes

            The smallest of them all, thanks for being always there. May you be as you always are to me.

 

The reason-for-Tanduay, Flojos, Lending “Investor”

            No comment. Haha. Thanks for all the generosity, kindness, sweetness, humor, understanding, consideration and patience. May you lend me more in the future!

 

The parents and siblings,

            The year was the worst I’ve ever experienced with you yet it was the sweetest. Thanks for being strong. I could have lost it if it weren’t for your strength and all. May the future be a stronger one for us.

 

                        Lastly…

The One “up there”

            You made the year so special for me. thanks for all the blessings. Thanks for all the people. Thanks for all.

Diary Part1

Magkasama kami kanina. Tumitig ako sa bandang likod niya, tumingin siya sakin. Akala niya siguro siya yung tinitignan ko. Sabagay, pwede na rin. Kinindatan ko siya, nginitian niya ako. Parang high school lang(bagamat wala akong ganitong karanasan noong high school) Isang eksenang sapak sa kalandian. Ngunit akala mo lang ay nangyari ito. Ang totoo niya'y guniguni mo lang ang lahat.

Guniguni mo lang yung nakita mong babaeng nakikipag harutan sa kapwa niya babae. Hindi lahat ng gusto mong makita ay nakikita mo. Guniguni mo lang na nakapulot ka ng pera. Hindi lahat ng gusto mong mangyari ay nangyayari. Guniguni mo lang na nakita mo si Bayani Fernando at narinig mo siyang nagsabing magkita-kita daw kayo sa 2010. Pero hindi, totoo pala na balak kumandidato ni BF sa 2010. Yun lang, di siya makikipag-kita-kita sa'yo.

Pinag-usapan namin ang tungkol sa isang boring na topic kanina na kung ikukuwento ko dito'y malamang na isumpa mo yung blog ko kaya wag nalang. Muntik na nga akong nakatulog noong nagkukuwento siya ngunit pinilit kong gumising dahil nkita ko ang tumutubong ecosystem sa likod ng isang asong kalyeng pilit nagpapaawa upang mabigyan ng pagkain. Lumakad kami ng kaunti. Ngunit teka, hindi pala nangyari 'yon. Guniguni mo lang ang lahat mula sa iyon pagsilang hanggang sa iyong pag-abot sa iyong kinalalagyan ngayon. Malas mo.

AIDS

1:00 am,

halos isang oras na ang lumipas mula nung natapos ang stage presentation na LIVE AIDS, isang stage act na inorganisa ng UP SAMASKOM, isang organisasyon sa kolehiyo ng Mass Communications. Astig! Ito na yata ang pinakasamasayang play na napanuod ko. Bukod sa mahusay ang pag-ganap ng bawat komedyanteng nagtanghal, nakatipid din ako ng ilang daang piso para sa ticket. Pano'y naka-upo kami dun sa malapit sa stage kung saan mahigit 500 ang ticket gayung pang 300 lang yung seats na nareserve namin. Unfair lang din dahil free tickets para sa freshies. Astig! Silver anniversary daw kasi nung show kaya napaka-espesyal ng mga performances. Talaga namang napakasaya dahil witty at humorous ang bawat performance. Astig! Nasulit ang pera ko kahit na hindi ko pa nababayaran yung ticket. Haha.

My Reventon

Eqkl ofzkgrxetr dt zg itk, my Reventon

My Reventon is a nice thing. It's what I've been looking for for years. Something that shares in my interests but not with my sentiments. Something that could make my mind flutter about everything... especially cars. Cars are the single most interesting thing for me. A concept I comprehend with ease, a figure I could look as I please, a sound that makes my heart pound, looks that aren't really pleasing but jaw dropping, a rear that makes my head turn more than it can, and a sensibility that really isn't much as I need. That's how cars are for me. Just the way my Reventon is: the most interesting thing that is worth all my time.

I miss my Reventon.

Nostaljik

Taong dalawang libo't tatlo, ang litratong ito'y nakuhanan sa dorm2 sa seminaryo. nakita ko lang na pakalatkalat ito sa aking web page. natuwa ako nang makita ito kasi di ko akalaing umabot ako ng gano'ong kapayat. (haha) Muntik-muntikan ko na ngang di mamukhaan ang sarili ko. Hindi ko kasi inakalang nagkasya sa'kin yung t-shirt na suot ko sa litrato. Nung isang araw kasi, sinubukan ko i'yon at ulo palang, ayaw nang lumusot! haha. ako nga pala yung naka-itim na t-shirt. kahit yung mga kasama ko, di ko na ga'nong namukhaan. (si Gian pala yung nasa likod!) Lumipas na talaga ang panahon. haha.

Taong dalawang libo't apat nang makunan ang litratong ito. Isang taon lang ang lumipas at tila tumanda ako ng dalawang taon! at ang mga kasama ko, tila nagsi-itiman! haha. ngunit isa lang sa kanila yung kasama ko doon sa naunang litrato. Ako nga pala yung naka-puti na medyo nakatayo. Sayang nga lang dahil hindi ganoon kaganda ang pagkaka-scan sa mga litrato.

Ilang taon pa kaya ang lilipas?

Makaintindi Ka Bang Kapampangan?

Alam ng lahat ng tao sa tambayan na hindi talaga ako nagsasalita sa kapampangan. Nahihirapan kasi akong ilagay sa aking sistema. Oo, nakakaintindi naman ako ng salitang iyon. Minsan nga'y tila mas marami pa akong alam na salitang kapampangan kesa dun sa mga nagkakapampangan sa'kin. Nakasanayan ko na kasing kinakausap ako sa kapampangan at sumasagot ako sa tagalog. gano'n ang aking sistema. Ngunit minsan, tila may isang anghang na pilit pumapaso sa aking dila upang ako'y magsalita ng kapampangan. Ngunit di pa rin ako nagsasalita. Sa halip, ako'y kumakanta.

May iilan akong alam na kanta sa kapampangan. Hilig kasi ng nanay ko na patugtugin ang mga C.D. niyang kompayleysyon(tama ba?) ng mga kanta'ng kapampangan; mga matatandang kantang pilit nilagyan ng bagong lasa ng bagong henerasyon. Nag-click naman ang mga ito na revival ng lumang kulturang kapampangan. Minsan, kinakanta ko ang mga kantang 'to. Ngunit paulit-ulit sila kaya nagsawa ako. Ngayon, gumagawa ako ng sarili kong bersyon ng mga sikat na kanta sa kasalukuyan. Madalas tinatawanan ako sa tambayan dahil korni daw ang mga kanta. Ngunit walang nagawa ang pagtawa nila dahil kahit papa'no ay cool naman ang mga nagagawa kong transleysion... siguro. haha. :)

Eto ang ilang linyang aking natranslate. di pa sila tapos dahil hindi ganoon karami ang nalalaman ko patungkol sa mga matalinhaga't malalalim na salita sa kapampangan. Astig kung mahuhulaan mo sila. :)

"dakal pang margarita para keka senyorita. triplian me'yng tequila ban tumapang ya ing lasa. aldukan ke ing JNB kabang sisipatan ke katawan date ku ngeni."

"mitatalanan tamu gamat at alang kamale-male, a aturuanan me ing pusu kung lugud tututng-tutu."

"sapak ya ing langit kareng batwin, at karimla na ning angin. king lawe mu mamumurit ku, o jo"

'yun lang. :)

Walang Kuwentang Papel

Malabo na ang sistema ng bansa ngayon. Oo, Malabo na siya dati. Ngunit tila mas malabo na siya ngayon. Mas maraming mga bagay bagay na hindi na maipaliwanag. Mas maraming bagay na ang walang katuturan.

Kamakailan lang ay kumuha ako ng aking kauna-unahang drivier’s licence. Hindi ko alam kung pa’no nga ba talaga ang sistema dun kaya’t sunod lang ako ng sunod sa kung ano’ng sabihin sa akin nung ale sa may booth kahit na may nakapaskil na instructions sa tapat ng booth ni ate. Ayon sa instructions, kailangan kong mag-apply para sa lisensya, magbayad para sa application, magpamedical test, magpa-picture, umattend ng lecture at seminar, mag-40 item written exam, mag-actual exam, magbayad para sa processing, at maghintay. Mga simpleng hakabangin upang makakuha ng lisensya. Ngunit hindi ko raw kailangang pagdaanan ang lahat ng ‘yon dahil baguhan lang ko. Sundan ko lang daw ang instructions ni ate at makakakuha rin ako ng lisensya sa araw na iyon. Ayon sa instructions ni ate, kailangan kong magapply, magbayad, magpamedical test, magpapicture, mag-8 item exam with “assistance”, magbayad, magbayad ulit, at maghintay sa releasing ng lisensya. Nung una’y wala akong pakialam sa sistema. Maghapon akong naghintay dun kaya’t ginawa ko ang lahat upang hindi na ako kailangan pang bumalik kinabukasan. Dun ko nalaman na hindi na pala mandatory ang pagkuha ng higit 90 bahagdan ng examinasyon na sa teorya ay sumasala dun sa mga naga-apply ng lisensya ngunit hindi pa ganun ang kaalaman sa batas at tamang disiplina sa daan. Dun ko rin nalaman na yung pangatlong bayad, na ayon dun sa instructions ni ate, ay para hindi ko na kailanganin pang mag-exam. Kaya pala hindi na katakatakang marami sa mga nagmamaneho sa ating mga kalsada ay walang disiplina.
Dahil sa kakulangan sa edukaswyon, kakulangan sa moral, kakulangan sap era at kung anu pang mga plusot kaya nagiging ganito ang bansa. Hindi ko sisisihin ang gobyerno. Ang sinumang isinisisi ang lahat ng bagay sa gobyerno ay tamad at hindi nagiisip. Hindi ko sisisihin ang edukasyon. Pamana ito sa akin ng aking mga magulang at mga gurong nagsisikap upang mapabago ang mangmang na sistemang Pilipino. Hindi ko sisisihin ang simbahan. Masyado na siyang bugbog mula sa mga problemang ibinibigay sa kanya ng mundo. Ako ang may kasalanan. Kung hindi ako pumayag sa korapsyon upang mapagaan ang aking buhay, kung naging mapanuri lang ako sa sistemang nais ipatupad sa akin, marahil ay hindi ako nakadagdag sa kabulukan ng ating sistema. Ikaw rin ang may kasalanan. Kung hindi ka lang nakakabawas ng kalam ng tiyan, nakakabayad ng mga utang, nakakabili ng damit, malamang ay hindi ka tatanggapin kapalit ng konting kaalaman at disiplina. Pugad ka ng kasamaan! Wala kang kuwenta!

The 8 Deadly Sin

Everyone should be familiar with the deadly sins. Gluttony, sloth, greed, lust, etc. etc.; these sins, as taught by the Christian community, should cause death to anyone doing it in excess. Actually, everything done in excess should more or less cause death. Excessive drinking could cause blood poisoning. Excessive smoking could cause lung cancer. Excessive spending could eat up all your money till you get sick and die without having the chance to go to the hospital. Excessive talking could cause someone getting angry to a point where he decides to kill you. Seriously, anything that’s too much will kill you… which brings me to something I’d like to call the 8 deadly sin.
The “8” plate is a car plate issued by the LTO to congressmen. It’s like a status symbol for cars bought by tax money in an illegal but seemingly legal way. Maybe you’re wondering what the fuss is all about. The president has a special plate. All high ranking officials have exclusive plates. Even we could have our special plates. Here’s the picture. Every region in the country has more congressmen than there are honest politicians, and because each of these congressmen could own cars as many as their concubines and relatives, we could just imagine how many of these 8 plates roam our roads today. It’s the most common plate that ravages our roads of today. But that really isn’t the biggest problem, at first.
In theory, these plates are used in order to identify the car as owned by a government official. And their purpose end there. Sadly, it doesn’t. The “8” plate today is considered a privilege pass. Any car with the said plate could easily break rules and go away with punishment. Any car with this privilege could over speed, counter flow, endlessly honk at responsible drivers, pull over other people’s cars, beat the red light, use prohibited lanes, and even hit others, without getting more than a wink from the witnessing law enforcer. And it doesn’t end there. Any enforcer who tries to apply the law to these cars bearing the stupid plate would be in danger of getting fired from his job anytime there after. There was this instance when an 8-plate-car hit a person killing him in the process. The car got away without the owner getting identified.
It’s an excessive abuse of power that causes this to happen. As such, I call that the use of the 8-plate should be included in the list of deadly sins. Anybody bearing this plate, sooner or later, could be a hazard to people. And so, dare I pray, whoever should wield the sinful plate be punished severely!

Stand OuT Day

Halloween in me has passed.
Cold wind blow away as I pass
Winter start chilling my phase.
I grumble, I count the passing of days.

I walk along in blue
Carrying the burden I always new.
Regret as I always did in the past,
Fills me with bitterness I know will last.

Cared I never honestly did much,
For others I knew till there was such.
Despising my duties as time ticks,
Till now it end as such should speak.

Confusion rides me going in circles,
As such speak, my mind tingles.
With all that’s happened I patiently wait
Till dawn of day sweet words such say.

Interest grow fonder as weeks rest,
Spending a lifetime a night at best.
Serving with such a light heart sensation,
As night falls, my soul in elation.

Chanced upon me I’ll never waste.
The second one I wouldn’t hate.
To such my chest would pound alive.
To one until my day arrive.

By side, I am with open arms,
Blinded by childish wonder charms.
Such need nothing more of a call,
Wait I will till such will fall.

my 3rd report

It was early the morning of September 18. I woke very early time because I had to finish our 4th field work report due the next day. I had no plans on passing it on the deadline so I decided that I should have finished it before afternoon so I could pass it early next morning. I had plans that night so I really had to finish it before going to school or at least before afternoon. At first I thought I could finish it in an hour so I wouldn’t be missing any class. Unfortunately, I had to skip three of my classes before I finished the paper.
After finishing the report I had it printed at a cyber café near our apartment. Then, I received an e-mail containing the format of the report which I also printed. Attending my last class I met my classmate on the subject that required the report. Proudly, I told him of the report due the next day which I’ve already finished. He was absent the day the report was announced so he asked me to teach him how the report was to be done. I obliged myself savouring a time when I’m actually “smarter” than a classmate.
As the professor discussed biology, I discussed what I knew of the field work report. After all, it was just a simple concept of computing stuff. Then, as I browsed the printed report format, I noticed a date which as if spat in my face: date of submission: September 26! My pride went into shambles! I cursed myself for overlooking a simple detail! What was due the next day was actually the 3rd field work report! Then, I looked at my classmate and just laughed “silently”
I wasted my time missing 3 classes at the near end of the semester just to finish a 4-hour-manageable report that is due in a week just because I overlooked time. Oh well.

The Second Coming

One of my biggest frustrations as a “writer” is this: making an article on the spot. Like I said in my previous article, I’m really not a writer so I can’t really summon words into my page whenever I want them. I wait for the words to accumulate and form sense. In short, I wait for inspiration. Maybe this is the reason why I failed with my first blog. It took my inspiration a year or so before the words formed in my mind again. And by that time, I’ve already forgotten the username and password to my previous account.
That was my mistake.
This is what I admire about those true-blue, tried-and-tested writers. They are able to write articles anytime, anywhere, or so I think. Maybe that’s why they are called wordsmiths: beings that are able to manipulate words, thoughts and the like. I want to be a wordsmith. I want to express what I feel; what I think, what I want to say, in tongues not foreign to the majority. I want to share half of my mind to the world in channels understandable and entertaining to the majority.
As ideas explode in my head like easy-to-cook popcorn rattling in a microwave oven, I sit here typing empty words that would be filled with the thoughts in your microwave oven.

GENESIS

Everything started a few years ago.
I just transferred to a university somewhere in Baguio.
After a few months spent in an institution embraced by my comforts, I asked my parents to transfer me some place else. I never really saw my future as a priest. I was afraid that my comforts were pulling me back to that institution so I chose to be transferred in a place new to me, a setting away from my familiarities. So, I was transferred to Baguio.
At Baguio, I was greeted by new faces. I was introduced to a new culture. I was exposed to a new atmosphere. I was bombarded with new things and I was enjoying everything. My head was getting filled with things. Most of which were memories; happy ones. I felt the urgency to tell the world how great I feel about my new life. If I would not express those thoughts, I might have exploded inside. That was when my blog life was born.
I am never good at narrating. Every time I tell stories, I get hard-to-explain reactions from my audience. Usually, they get confused because I jumbled the parts of what I’m narrating. I end up searching for the climax of my somewhat uninteresting story, struggling to revive the interest I saw in their eyes when I called their attention to listen to what I had to tell. Hopefully, throughout this blog, I won’t get the same reactions from you. J
My blog life lasted for a year or so. It was a year or so of struggle because I never found the lines that could have made my blog interesting and eternal. That’s when I decided to stop. I felt senseless with my own words. No stories came up. I really had to stop. I stopped.
Now, for unknown reasons, I’m back. Hopefully, my writing sense hasn’t faded and my narrating style has improved. I’d do my best for you not to get bored reading my stuff. Just, don’t hesitate to make comments. What you have to say would be very important for me and my blog. Thank you. J