OK

It was rough

I tried to look tough
Never had it in me
so I tried to hide away
I kept it inside so I’d look OK
Said a few words
But I really never felt that way
The whole world tried to push me
Deep inside, I wanted it to stay
I wanted how the things were
When she never went away
But the feelings grew in me
And it tried to eat me, insane
Before I knew it,
I was killing my self slowly
Tearing myself to pieces,
It all made me empty
Now I’m jotting this words
By part by heart
It’s all I can do
To keep my head from frenzy
It’s all been a question in the past
A lingering issue
I thought would never last
Am I still sulking or
Have I moved on already?

And when I had the answer
all I felt was vague
Was I really over
or was I just playing tough
Was I dissatisfied
or did I have enough?
Did I feel low
knowing I had no control?
Did I want revenge
feeling I wasn’t loved at all?
I never knew what was coming
and I shunned the world away
I let it boil inside me
until it holed a way
The words clattered in my head
telling me things what not
There are things I could understand
and those which I cannot
And when my eyes were open
it suddenly dawned to me
I’m better off a friend
than what we used to be