Tagagamit Palakaibigan

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A Year's Passing

No move still

Just In Dreams

The light flickers wavering to rest

The sound fade in a swirl of rainbow melody

Black to white, the scenery seems to blur

The night is young but the mind wants to defer

The forces that be pull the soul into the depths

With a shuddering thud the eyes succumb into like death

Then stands in a disarray of pictures, that life seem to awaken

Trying to grasp what there is that in reality cannot happen

Searching for meaning in that never ending darkness

With a suffocating feeling when time ceased to pass

Then flashes that life which seems so alive

In an altering dimension where hopes reside

The hue blinds trying, wanting to deceive

The sight rushes the eyes wanting to believe

Then the world shakes and everything is put to stop

The mind chases in memory the scenes from bottom to top

The sights turn to blur and in a swirl pull back to light

The eyes slowly open in the passing of the night

Moonlite Crash

The darkness creeps into the waters

as the night passes through the sea.

The hushed rustling of the wind defers

as the tide of the spring nears.

All in the deep glittered with the beam

as the bright moon scattered to its brim.

Then vanished everything with the glare

the sea reflecting the moons nightmare.

In thousand words came midnight's stare

the mighty sea crumbling through the rocks

From black to white the tide collide

With what of fear the water lacks

The wind starts howling with the moon sublime

In glinting strokes of zenith a passing

time was ticking in the sea's uprise

on the day the moon comes anew turning.

With the wind and the might the sea came crashing

Trying to reach that which kept shining

In a glimpse of darkness it turned to white

On its sparkling tears it breaks through the night.

And before the hour the moon did fall,

the day came shining with the light appall

the sea came screaming in all delight

waiting for the darkness to creep tonight

Open End

It's apparent where the wind is blowing.

I never meant for it to end this way.

It sucks now that I feel that it should, that it would.

This can't be the end.

Not now, not today, not in any way.

But if it has to end, I'll accept it.

Just let all the grudges out,

And let it end knowing it didn't do so in bitterness

OK

It was rough

I tried to look tough
Never had it in me
so I tried to hide away
I kept it inside so I’d look OK
Said a few words
But I really never felt that way
The whole world tried to push me
Deep inside, I wanted it to stay
I wanted how the things were
When she never went away
But the feelings grew in me
And it tried to eat me, insane
Before I knew it,
I was killing my self slowly
Tearing myself to pieces,
It all made me empty
Now I’m jotting this words
By part by heart
It’s all I can do
To keep my head from frenzy
It’s all been a question in the past
A lingering issue
I thought would never last
Am I still sulking or
Have I moved on already?

And when I had the answer
all I felt was vague
Was I really over
or was I just playing tough
Was I dissatisfied
or did I have enough?
Did I feel low
knowing I had no control?
Did I want revenge
feeling I wasn’t loved at all?
I never knew what was coming
and I shunned the world away
I let it boil inside me
until it holed a way
The words clattered in my head
telling me things what not
There are things I could understand
and those which I cannot
And when my eyes were open
it suddenly dawned to me
I’m better off a friend
than what we used to be

Turmoil

"Gumulo ang buhay ko dahil sa'yo!" kanina pa ako binabagabag ng mga salitang yan.
"Gumulo ang buhay ko dahil sa'yo!" 'di ko alam kung dapat ko bang paniwalaan, pero parang gusto ko na rin. Ang tagal ko na dapat kasing naiwasan 'to, nalampasan, pero bakit ganun? Sa tuwing malapit ko nang makamit ang kalayaan, sa tuwing malapit na kitang makalimutan, laging gumagawa ang pagkakataon ng bagay upang bumalik ang lahat, upang lalo pang tumindi, upang mapalapit pa ako lalo sa'yo.

Ayaw kong isipin na ito'y tadhana. Lalo akong nahihirapan na maka-move on pag yun ang iniisip ko. Lalo akong umaasa. Bakit nga ba ako umaasa? Ilang beses mo na rin sinabi sa'kin na wala kang nararamdaman sa'kin, na ayaw mong magkaroon tayo ng emosyonal na relasyon . Pero bakit parin ako umaasa? Ganoon na siguro ako katanga, laging umaasa sa bagay na wala, laging naghihintay sa bagay na di darating, lagi na lang. Ito nga ba yung "pagmamahal" o "kahangalan" lang?

Gusto ko nang bumitaw. Pero alam ko na di ko pa nagagawa ang kaya kong gawin. May magagawa pa ako, ngunit walang pagkakataon, o di ko makita ang pagkakataon. Sawa na rin ako sa lumilipas na pagkakataon. Kung magkaroon lang sana ulit.


"Gumulo ang buhay ko dahil sa'yo!" Hindi, ayaw ko maniwala. Sumaya nga buhay ko dahil sa'yo. Kaya siguro ayaw ko pa sumuko. Kaya di pa ako maka-move on. Kaya ayaw ko pa mag-move on. Takte yan!